Archive | January, 2013

Late Night Writing/Music

24 Jan

Last week I found out my classmate also failed the same course that I did. I could not resist, but I had this selfishness inside of me. I was actually happy, because we can stick together with the same schedule and graduate together in the future.

A few days later she double checked her marks with the instructor. The instructor made a mistake with her marks, she actually passed the course and can graduate on time. She was super happy with the good news, but for a slight moment…….  I was disappointed. The devil caused me to think the wrong way. I had to overcome the work of the enemy and remind myself. This was a miracle from God and she definitely deserved the blessing. Even though I did not experience the miracle myself, but I should be happy that she did and be proud of her.

On a side note: I love old songs, remind me of the past, the first time when I heard the song.

Sarah Mclachlan – In the Arms of the Angel. Sad, yet peaceful.

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A Gift

4 Jan

Today, I’ve been trying to focus on my studies, because my exams are next week. It is an extremely difficult thing to do during the holidays. I needed some strength and energy to fuel me, so I thought about the most powerful force in the universe……that is love.

Love is a gift to mankind, this driving force has the ability to change things, move things, it has absolutely no boundaries, and my Lord Jesus possess all of it. He also gave me this power for good purposes.

Some brothers invited me for a little celebration at church last night. I honestly did not want to go because of exam period, and previous bad celebration experience at church. But I thought about the topic Love. I thought about a special brother who tried so hard to make up a story to get me coming. I thought about another brother who tried to invite me for lunch. I had to go at least for them, if not for myself.

I know how hard it is to organize someone’s birthday. I’ve done it a couple of times in the past years through baking and making surprises. Love does not ask for anything in return, it is a self less gift given freely. You just want that person to be happy and know you care. That was my goal of baking and celebrating for my friends.

At times, I can be a very laid back person. When I’m serious, I have great expectations for myself and others. As for birthday celebrations, for people that I care, I do my best. In doing so, I try hard to remind myself not to expect any rewards, to be selfless.

As a receiver, I know I must do the same, so I had to show up last night and thank them personally for the ones who care for me. It’s a very difficult task, but I’m still learning how to love my God, family, and friends. I know I have limits and flaws, but I will keep reminding myself.

Today is my birthday. It is a day not really intended for me, because it is a special day to remember my mom. She had to painfully give birth to me so that I can come to this world. Even though she is busy at work, she texted me for the second time, saying happy birthday. This is special because my mom does not really know how to text and use modern technology.